So much has happened since I last posted so where do I start? Chris and I are settled now in Beaminster Dorset and running Tangerine Cafe and Gallery which we love.

Soon after our move to Dorset we were were invited to the Cancer Research Institute in Cambridge for the unveiling of a new plaque for Mark. I have also spoken at CRUK events and talked to Skin Cancer specialist nurses at one of their conferences. I try as much as possible to continue to raise awareness of cancer generally and skin cancer in particular as Mark is no longer here to do it and it meant such a lot to him.

We are touched that so many people still think about Mark and miss him as we do. So many lovely friends, ours and Mark’s have come to seek us out at Tangerine Cafe and many keep in touch through email, messaging, social media and the post. I love receiving news from Mark’s friends and sometimes unexpected gifts arrive like this one below, in Mark’s memory. We were so touched to receive this from Carla and Spencer.

We continue our fundraising efforts and last October we took apart in Cancer Research Uk’s Stand Up to Cancer appeal as the theme was Sunday Brunch so right up our street.

Like everyone else, the lockdown affected our lives though it was nothing compared to losing Mark. However I began to think that it would be brilliant to create a new anthology as a snapshot of experiences of living through a pandemic. During the first lockdown I put out an appeal for poems, art and diary extracts and received a flood of submissions resulting in the lovely book below that is available to purchase from Poetry Space. It is £15 and all profits go to Mark’s fund for CRUK. We have already added £2000.

That’s all for now, other than to say we have almost reached £324,000 through Mark’s appeal for Cancer Research UK. If you can help us reach half a million then go to Mark’s appeal

I have three dreams in regard to Mark, one is that he’ll walk through our door and say ‘Hi Mum and Dad, I’m here’, the others are to reach half a million pounds in his memory for Cancer Research UK and the other is to see his lovely book: PS I have Cancer become a best seller and maybe even a film one day.

Mark was a young doctor with so much to offer the world and his life was cut short. It is inevitably sad but the main theme is hope and love, and above all this story demonstrates Mark’s passion for life and his faith in science to cure the disease that ravaged and eventually took his life.

The book is available on Poetry Space and on Amazon.

We had this lovely review back in May.

Book Review: 24 May 2015
Title : P.S. I have Cancer: Wrestling Melanoma and Falling in Love
Author: Mark Sims
Publisher: Poetry Space Ltd 2018  £9.95

Reviewer: Polly Buchanan, Clinical Editor, Dermatological Nursing (Official Journal of the British Dermatological Nursing Group)

This remarkable book has been written by an even more remarkable person, Dr Mark Sims. Mark very sadly died aged 28years old. He had been diagnosed with malignant melanoma and this book represents, as he puts it, his story of defying the cancer and falling in love.
The book is written as journal, describing his experiences, thoughts and emotions during the years, months and final days of his life. He embraced life and grasped every opportunity live and love to the fullest.
His love for people, his friendships, and relationships represent a key focus throughout the book and how these helped him cope with the disease, highlighting the closeness and support from his family, friends and fiancée. The love story of Mark and Georgia is beautifully told and touches ones heart so deeply. The anecdotes and stories he recalls are of real life experience, which are often humorous, sometimes sad but always captivating. He demonstrates a positivity which fosters hope and understanding.
He has been very articulate and honest in his writing which gives readers insight to what it is really like living with melanoma. This is an insight which will resonate with other people who have a similar prognosis following the diagnosis of stage 4 cancer. Also, for me, reading this as a nurse, Mark’s story gives real insight into what he experienced at the patient – health care professional interface. He describes the way health care professionals communicated with him, both verbal and non-verbal behaviours and how he interpreted things and how it made him feel.
Something he described, which will stay with me forever, was how his felt when he read the job title that was on the nurse’s name badge, before anyone had spoken a word. He knew instantly, the information he was about to receive was going to be ‘bad news’.
Mark reflects on his career as a medical doctor, and his passion for medical research. This is clearly articulated in own experiences as a clinician as well as being a participant in clinical research studies. He strongly advocates the value of medical research in the discovery of new and effective treatments as well offering patients the opportunity to be part of it all, in seeking new knowledge and hope. I regard this book as a piece of qualitative narrative research in its own right. The richness of the data provides deep insight into survivorship, love and hope.
I found this book educational, with Mark’s own medical knowledge enhancing the story, offering medical images, scans, references and further reading. It is highly recommended reading and essential reading for every health care professional caring for persons with melanoma. It is a book that captivates, educates and provokes. Eloquently written, he deliberately arouses the reader’s interest. For health professionals, he asks us to consider the experience of melanoma from a patient’s perspective, how we communicate and how we can foster hope.
I didn’t have the opportunity to meet Mark, I wish I had, as he was a truly remarkable young man, in all that he achieved. He has left us a legacy through his writings, his blog and his fund raising which will help others in the future. I am grateful to his family and Georgie for publishing his work and giving me the opportunity to review it. I recommend it as a MUST read to all our BDNG journal readership.
All book profits are donated to the Mark Sims’ Just Giving Fund for Cancer Research UK (CRUK)

by Sue Sims

Until Mark died and left me with his beautiful book to publish and promote, I had not imagined  becoming a public speaker. However speaking engagements have been rolling in as well as TV and press interviews.  I have found I love doing them. It’s another way for me to keep telling Mark’s story and to raise awareness of the horrible disease that is malignant melanoma. Other family members have been getting involved too. Dave made a speech at a data conference organised by Public Heath England. Also some friends have organised their own events to raise awareness and keep Mark’s story alive. We are very thankful to them.

Here are some highlights from these past few months.

Our book launches in Bath and Bristol.

Local press coverage. The story was also in The Daily Express, The London Evening Standard and other newspapers around the country.

TV coverage. I was interviewed by presenters Jonty and Ellie. ITV have been amazing supporters.

In the ITV studio.

Mark’s book at ITV – he’d be thrilled.

Magazine coverage below. Dave telling the moving story of losing his identical twin in Multiple Matters (TAMBA), and me telling Mark’s story to That’s Life magazine.

Public speaking at CRUK conference in East London and at Battersea Race for Life.

I also spoke at Bristol Race for Life.

Here’s Dave at the data conference in Manchester. Above Dave there is a shot of Mark giving a speech at Leicester University when he was first diagnosed with Stage 4 malignant melanoma.

The books have arrived and they are truly beautiful. You did a wonderful thing Mark, writing this.

You can order your copy in the Poetry Space online shop/

Profits will go to Mark’s Just Giving Fund for CRUK

For me it has been an amazing project, editing Mark’s 80,000 words and adding a chapter of my own in line with Mark’s wishes. All the family have helped in some way, by proof reading and advising. Now it is here, another lasting legacy for a beautiful guy.

Sue Sims

With the help of the family, I have now made a lot of progress on Mark’s book and it is currently at the final proof reading stage.  This is the cover:

I have created  a dedicated Facebook page for the book and have started to reserve books for people who would like to pre-order.I already have orders for 60 books. So thanks if that is you.

You can pre-order by visiting the page and sending a message.

The book will be published in paperback by Poetry Space Ltd and we plan to launch in February or March next year. It is 312 pages long and will retail at £9.95.

Profits from sale of the book will be donated to Mark’s fund for CRUK 

“Mark’s knowledge of medicine, personal passion and eloquence put him in a unique position which compelled people to listen. Incredibly, he gave his precious, remaining time (freely) to benefit future generations.”

Lynn Daly, Cancer Research UK

“It was Mark’s honesty and integrity that struck me. Brave is a word that seems to be used all the time these days, but Mark was truly brave, Even when he was incredibly poorly, he still wanted to share his experiences to warn others of the terrible dangers of skin cancer.”

Kylie Pentelow, reporter for ITV news. 

Sue Sims

Raising funds for Cancer Research UK was extremely important to Mark. When he was at his lowest ebb it gave meaning to his life to know that he was giving hope to people in the future. It is still vitally important to us to continue to keep the money coming in and we are so grateful to all of you  for doing your own fundraising and adding to the pot, and also for every single donation you give.

As many of you will know, I am currently editing Mark’s book and also writing a collection of poems based on my experience of bearing witness to Mark’s journey through cancer. I am making progress  and both of these titles will help to raise both funds and awareness.

In the meantime I am selling copies of my 2015 collection of poems, A number of things you should know in aid of Cancer Research UK. The book normally retails at £7.95 from the publisher and from Amazon books, however if you would like a copy directly from me please make a donation  for this amount or more on  Mark’s Just Giving Page and then Facebook message/text or e-mail me susan@poetryspace.co.uk with your details so I can put a copy in the post to you. As the title suggests I cover a variety of themes in this book, some personal, some fictional, some just on random subjects and I’m pleased that I’m getting people into poetry who have not read it since school.

Here’s an example of a personal one:

Dear Dad,

Our day’s been good,

you got to see your grandson and his girl. We all shared lunch and  talked and laughed.

Then I took you to the park

and pointed out ducks diving,

ducks emerging, shaking feathers, drying in the sun.

You loved it all and it was good to see you smile.

When I said I was going

you thought I was leaving you.

You get the idea sometimes

that I’m your wife. I do the things a wife does, empty your bag, wipe your bum.

Your logic’s good. I’m your daughter, I say. I’ve got a husband and you cry. I leave you with music to soothe your heart

knowing the carer is coming soon, to take you to your bed.

Susan Jane Sims

Dad died on October 24th, 2015, aged 94. He did incredibly well but in the last couple of years became quite frail physically and mentally due to age and to Alzheimer’s, another cruel disease.

On another subject, thanks for all the lovely messages I have had today from people knowing that today might be hard as it is Mother’s Day. This is much appreciated. I did hear from Mark’s three brothers, a lovely bunch of tulips arrived from Matt, and also an extra Mother’s Day card from Rob and Rachel in New York. That was so sweet of you guys. Perhaps we could invent an Auntie’s Day.

With best wishes, Sue (Mark’s mum)

Before February 2015, Mark  was just getting on with his life, he rang now and again, came to stay sometimes and I went to see him but that was it. I never wanted to be the sort of mother who needed to know what he or any of his brothers were up to moment by moment. I was happy to have confident sons who simply got on with their lives, had adventures, rang or visited now and again . I knew I was always welcome for the occasional visit to see any of them and having four sons, it never really meant that any got more attention than they wanted. I had my life, writing poetry, doing some counselling, running a small publishing venture and Chris and I were enjoying being a couple again after bringing up the boys. If anything all four have probably spent more time with Chris in their adult years as he likes to organise  walks and football matches. My sons were, and are an important part of my life but not the only thing I had in it. In fact Mark used to joke sometimes that I was often difficult to reach on the phone.

But all that changed with the advent of secondary cancer for Mark. We became very close, closer than I ever thought I would be with a son. On bad days we’d often curl up on the sofa with a video and I attended almost every hospital appointment, often with other family members, sometimes  just me and Mark. Between appointments there were games;  Ticket to Ride or Camel Cup when there were lots of us, Bananagrams or Scrabble  with just the two of us. Long hospital days in London came to mean visits to museums, the cinema, and once a lovely guided tour round Chelsea Physic garden with a keen volunteer. It got us out of the hospital environment between appointments and passed the time in a lovely way. Some nights when I could not sleep I would check my phone and find Mark was also not sleeping and wherever we were, we’d connect and play Word Feud. Even in those last days in The Royal Marsden, Word Feud continued until he could no longer see and the last game we played expired on January 9th, ten days before he died.

The last mortal remains of Mark William Sims were delivered to us from the undertaker in London, arriving in a green plastic screw top container as I knew they would . I was prepared with a shiny red steel urn and on the kitchen table poured the almost white ash from one container to another, at one point, letting it run through  my fingers like slightly gritty sand. Is this all I have left now?  I carried the shiny receptacle upstairs to Mark’s room, placed it carefully  on his shelf amongst his souvenirs. Later we will follow his wishes and scatter the ashes at sea. Yet for now it’s right to have the red urn on his shelf in the room he slept in all through his teens, the room he always came home to whenever he stayed. We won’t make it a shrine for ever, but for now it feels right.

It is twenty five days now since our beautiful son died. Our lives have been filled with the love of  family, friends, neighbours. I get a lot of joy from holding babies. We had a small intimate family gathering for Mark in London and we  have looked at hundreds of photographs, watched videos, listened to his voice on radio recordings. We have marvelled at how incredible he was and feel comforted to a certain extent to know how much he was cherished. But it can never be enough. It is so hard to not speak with him most days, so hard to come to terms with never again seeing that gorgeous smile in the flesh.

This week we are preparing  for Mark’s memorial event at Leicester University and looking forward to seeing many of you there. It starts at 2.30 in the Peter Williams lecture theatre but arrive a little earlier for a tea or coffee first.

Sue

Leicester University have kindly agreed to host Mark’s Memorial Service on Saturday 18th February 2017 at 2:30pm in the Peter Williams Lecture Theatre, in the Fielding Johnson South Wing. This service is to celebrate the life of our fantastic son, brother, fiancé, cousin, nephew and dear friend.

Update 15/2/17:

Parking Information for Saturday:
Service Starts at 2:30pm in the Peter Williams Lecture Theatre in the Fielding Johnson Building South Wing
For anyone driving on Saturday, please go to Entrance 1 on University Road. Parking is free on Saturday, the nearest car park is The Sports Hall but there are others nearby. We aim to have signs out on the day.
The coach to Bristol is scheduled for 6.30 return but can be earlier if everyone ready. The coach will drop you off outside the venue.